


Pythagorean Complications

by punkrockgaia



Series: Fun with Geometry! [1]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Feeling left out, M/M, Non canon compliant, Polyamory, arguing in a time of crisis, no roger, passive suicide attempt, they're not married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 14:37:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9186593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkrockgaia/pseuds/punkrockgaia
Summary: Mathematics tells us that a pyramid is one of nature's most stable shapes. Triangles, though, can be another story...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is inspired by, and dedicated to, the many fine Cecearlos writers out there, especially PallidVixen. I hope I didn't lift too heavily from anything I've read lately -- let me know, and I'll change it. Anyway, this is my own take on how hard the adjustments might be for these guys, especially my Cecil with his ball of abandonment issues. I am in no way trying to suggest that polyamory is unhealthy, or that any of the unhealthy behaviors in this story are healthy. Anywho, this is my first foray into Cecearlos, hoping it won't be my last!

The unease crept in slowly, so slowly that Cecil didn’t even notice it at first. He’d been happy, convinced that everything in his life had finally fallen into place, all his needs met, all his desires fulfilled. All his missing pieces comfortably filled with love and companionship. 

And it had been his idea — no, his dream — in the first place. Well, technically Carlos’ idea, but his dream. If he’d left it alone, if he’d said no, things probably would have been… all right. Things had been great between him and Carlos, never better, they were close and happy and fit together like the pieces of a bloodstone circle, their imperfections matching each other’s perfections seamlessly.

But there was Earl. He could push his feelings for Earl down for a bit, pretend they didn’t exist, but sooner or later they would come back, chafing at him like a scratchy tag in the seam of an otherwise-favorite shirt, the type of scratchy tag you never dared remove for fear of destroying the soft, delicate fabric it was attached to. He’d be going along, fine in his perfectly-conventional life, and then he’d be thoroughly consumed by the sensation of that chafe, the easy togetherness of being with someone so dear to him for so long, that spark of attraction he felt every time he spoke to the Scoutmaster, the almost overwhelming temptation he’d felt in his presence during the long year of Carlos’ absence. 

And Carlos, sweet, brilliant Carlos, had noticed this unscratchable itch and how it bothered his beloved. He watched and observed, and he hypothesized and concluded, and when he was done, he presented his findings. 

Cecil remembered that night clearly. They were at Big Rico’s, tucked into a secluded table in the back. Carlos had cleared his throat and steepled his fingers, eyebrows raising in the way they usually did when he shared a new scientific discovery. Cecil listened, interested, but not so interested that he didn’t keep eating.

“Cecil, you love Earl.”

Cecil had nearly choked on his bowl-of-stewed-tomatoes-and-melted-cheese-wads. “W-what? No! No, Carlos, I love you!” he spluttered, lowering his voice toward the end as he noticed the other diners staring.

“I know,” Carlos said, a satisfied smile on his face. “There are very few things a scientist takes as immutable fact, but that is one of them.”

“Well, then, why on earth?” Cecil tried to laugh, but ended up making a stuttering giggle instead. “Why… why would you say… what you just said?” He trailed off at the end, afraid to speak the forbidden words aloud. 

“Because you do, Cecil. You love me, and you love him. I’ve seen you around him, and it doesn’t exactly take a sensitive thermometer to measure that there’s some heat there. Not to mention the very handsome blush that you get when you talk to him on the phone… I thought you were going to faint when he showed you how to stuff the turkey this Thanksgiving.” Carlos’ voice was light, almost teasing, but still full of affection. 

“I… I don’t…” Cecil protested weakly, nervous fingers tearing his napkin into tiny shreds.

“I’m sorry, Pooh,” Carlos said, his jolly expression took on a tiny cast of sheepishness. “I didn’t mean to spring this on you in public like this. I assumed you already knew. And I wanted to let you know that I knew, too, and it’s okay.”

Cecil looked around again. The other customers had turned back to their food. Either they’d lost interest in the conversation, or they knew, too.

“It’s old news, Cecil,” replied the SSP deputy concealed in a suspiciously large decorative parmesan wheel. Cecil flushed deeply.

“Well, ah…” Cecil swallowed thickly. “Well, y-yes, I must admit that there are feelings there, Carlos. But I would never act on them. I love you, and I’m happy to be with you.” He took Carlos’ hand, nearly igniting his sleeve on the squat candle burning between them. 

“I know,” Carlos beamed. “And I’m happy to be with you. But… I wanted to let you know that it’s okay if you did. Act on them, that is. The feelings.” Cecil didn’t know what to say to that, and sat blinking, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. Carlos continued. “I mean that, Cecil, I’m not being generous or self-sacrificing, though those are some things that scientists can be. I’ve studied this from all the angles that I can see. I’ve run all the variables, and I cannot foresee a future in which I love you any less, or where you won’t be my partner. But I think that there’s an opportunity for you to be happier, which is an opportunity I’d like you to take. If you want to, that is. And if Earl does, of course.”

“And if it doesn’t work out?” Cecil asked, dry mouthed. “Earl and I don’t have a great track record.” He still could not believe he was having this conversation, but belief or not, it was happening. Sometimes you don’t have to believe in things for them to be true. “What if it all blows up again? What if it hurts you and me? What if I hurt him?”

Carlos squeezed his hand reassuringly. “Nothing will hurt you and me. We’re — well, not forever, forever is a very long time and I don’t have any way of knowing that for sure — but we’re very strong, Cecil. And I don’t believe you would ever hurt Earl. I don’t know exactly what happened with you in the past, but you’re both different people now. You’re much more open about your feelings and less obsessed with work, and he’s not 19 any more.” 

“I… I don’t know. I don’t know what to do…” Cecil looked into Carlos’ eyes, pleading for an answer. 

“I think you start by talking to Earl,” Carlos replied. 

So after dinner, at home, and after a few gulps of Armagnac, Cecil picked up the phone and dialed his friend. And that’s how it began.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things progress quickly...

Things moved surprisingly quickly after that phone call. Not that everything had gone completely smoothly, of course. At first, Earl had been wary, not that Cecil could blame him. From the way things had gone in the past, he definitely understood how Earl could be worried that he’d just be using him for sex and nothing more. After a few dates and much time snuggling and many, many murmured declarations of love, though, he’d warmed to the situation, and Cecil felt prouder than he had since he’d been named The Voice. It felt so restorative, rejuvenating, to be able to surmount the past and prove to Earl what had been in his heart all along, though he hadn’t been able to show it before. To do it right this time. 

And through it all, through those tentative beginning days, Carlos had been there, the same steady, calming force in Cecil’s life. Cecil was amazed — he’d never felt so sure of someone’s love, and he’d never felt so sure of his love for someone else. Every moment felt like a beautiful gift. They were still perfectly matched, still perfectly imperfect for each other. 

At first, they’d had what Cecil had learned was called a “v-type” polyamorous relationship. Earl dated Cecil, and Carlos dated Cecil, but always separately. Sure, they’d have dinner together sometimes, and Cecil was convinced those warm and companionable evenings were more responsible than anything else for helping Earl to relax into this odd new situation they’d found themselves in. But at the end of the night, Earl would go home and Carlos would go to bed with Cecil, or Cecil would leave with Earl and spend the night over at his house. It was like living life on two trains, chugging away at the same speed down parallel tracks. He had one life with Carlos, and one life with Earl, and the lives didn’t really intersect or meld. He was always careful to spend time as equally as he could with each, and fairly broke his ass making sure that everyone knew that he cared for them equally. Not the same, feelings for two different people could never be the same for him, but equal. 

And then, one fine sunny afternoon, Cecil pushed things further. They’d had a picnic in the backyard of the house he shared with Carlos, and he’d been emboldened by the beautiful blue sky and the heat and the presence of both of his lovers so near to him (and perhaps by a few glasses of sangria), and he’d taken both men by the hands and led them to bed, and they’d spent the the rest of the day, and the evening, and the next morning together as a threesome. That first fling had led to another, and another, and another, and soon it didn’t make much sense to have Earl living separately any more, so he moved in with them.

They were still in that v-shape, though. The three of them might go to bed together, but Cecil was definitely the star of the show every time they did. And it was clear that he was still the one both of them were dating, co-operatively and not collaboratively. That had been… exhausting for Cecil, in ways that he hadn’t anticipated. He’d spent much of his adult life living alone, and having two extra bodies in the house instead of just one was draining. He’d be in the middle of a book, or watching a movie, or hard at work on a painting, and one of them would seem to appear out of nowhere to give him a hug, or ask if he wanted a snack, or to tell him about their day. It was nice, getting all that attention, being the **center** of their attention, but sometimes he just wanted to be left alone. 

And Earl was so awkward around Carlos and Carlos so awkward around Earl, even though they had all discussed the move and everyone had been fine with it. It felt like watching a tape loop: several times a week, Earl would be doing something in the kitchen, and Carlos would come in and abruptly blurt something scientific at Earl, then Earl would flinch, and inevitably something would fall off the table or the kitchen counter and spill, or a piece of Carlos’ lab equipment (that he shouldn’t have left in the kitchen anyway) would get jostled and break. Then Earl would fall all over himself apologizing, and Carlos would fall all over himself assuring him that it was fine, they could just mop the floor, or that was an old microscope anyway and not to worry about it, and so on and so forth. It was enough to give Cecil a migraine. 

It was during one of these episodes that Cecil finally snapped. He had been trying to edit some ad copy at the kitchen table when he was interrupted by Carlos and Earl both flailing tea towels wildly in an attempt to air out the small room from the thick smoke that had filled it, babbling apologies all the while.

“Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry, I should have been paying more attention to the frying pan, oh, your poor curtains,” Earl yammered. 

“No, no, they’re your curtains, too, I shouldn’t have distracted you, and we needed a reason to test the fire extinguisher anyway, it’s not a problem,” Carlos responded. 

“But, really, they were lovely curtains, I’m so sorry, how careless of me…”

“Please, those old things? They were my great-grandmother’s, really, speak no more of it…”

“Oh, but I shouldn’t have —“

“WILL THE TWO OF YOU JUST SHUT UP AND FUCK, ALREADY?” Cecil yelled, slamming down the lid to his laptop. The other men looked over at him, startled. A vein was pulsing in his forehead, and his teeth were gritted together. 

“Cee, are you okay?” Carlos asked, as Earl rushed over and peered at him, touching a hand to his forehead. 

“Augh, yes, nobody touch me!” Cecil grunted, getting up and standing behind his chair. “Give me some space, everybody be quiet for a minute!”

Earl got up and moved back to where Carlos stood, both men mute as messenger children. Cecil continued, waving his hands in the air. “This is all getting to be too much! I’m sick of you guys dancing around each other like a couple of maiden aunts, like you haven’t seen each other naked! I’m tired of living in a bad rom-com. You’re both fucking me, why don’t you go ahead and fuck each other and clear the tension? You’re driving me bananas!”

“CeeCee,” Earl said, quietly, “it’s not like that, I just don’t want to impose… I mean, not that I _wouldn’t_ , you know, but…” He glanced at Carlos and twisted his apron in his freckled fingers. 

“Really?” Carlos asked, surprised. “Because it’s not that I wouldn’t either, I just thought…”

“Me, too,” Earl said, blushing a fire engine red. “I didn’t think…”

“Me neither,” Carlos said, cocking his head to the side. “But, I mean, if we’re to be honest… I’ve thought about it…”

“Yeah, so have I,” Earl admitted. “Just to see…”

“Yes, just to see. To collect data.”

“Yes, to find out… Exploring, you know…” They were staring at each other, nervous and rapt. 

They also seemed to have forgotten that Cecil was in the room. He watched them with a mixture of arousal and horror as they drew close to each other and their lips met. This wasn’t what he’d intended to have happen but… wow. The kiss was soft and anxious at first, then it grew deeper, the two men moaning into each other’s mouths. He felt himself get hard even as his stomach clenched. A strangled squawk escaped his throat. 

Carlos and Earl jumped and turned to look at Cecil. Carlos spoke first. “If it’s okay with you, of course, Pooh.”

“Y-yeah, I was just thinking about how hot it would be, to watch…” Cecil said, unsure if he was telling the truth or not. 

“Really?” Earl’s eyes glistened eagerly. “‘Cause that might be fun, Cee. I mean, uh, something different… Just like a one-time thing, maybe. Clear the air, like you said.”

“Yes, something different, one-time thing, clear the air,” Cecil echoed, trancelike. “Let’s uh… Let’s go upstairs, and uh, you guys can put on a show for me.” His tongue felt sluggish in his mouth. 

“We’ll do our best, Snugglebear,” Carlos said, wrapping an arm around Cecil’s waist. Earl joined him on Cecil’s other side, pressing a kiss to Cecil’s cheek. They led him up the stairs to their room, as Cecil’s knees shook underneath him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, here. Some day I will learn to balance my chapter length, but today is not that day.

It was not a one-time thing. Carlos and Earl really seemed to enjoy being intimate with each other, and it wasn’t as though Cecil minded watching, either. They made it into a regular part of their sexual routine. And slowly, gradually, they started to spend more time together without Cecil — quickies when they were bored and waiting for him to get home, little breakfast time chats while he was sleeping in, that kind of thing. Cuddles during quiet afternoons, leisurely walks on starlit evenings. None of it was sneaky, none of it was cheating. 

And Cecil was fine with it, really. That’s what he told them. He was happy that they were getting along so well. He was happy that they were all so generous and giving and open-minded, honestly, it was great that they could all get along and no one was jealous, he told them, over and over. They were progressive and wonderful. 

It wasn’t like they didn’t spend time with him, after all. They still all slept together, and they still spent time with him separately, still sought him out and hugged him and told him they loved him, albeit with less frequency than before. And that was what he had wanted! He had all his free time back! They could all pursue their outside interests, and there was always someone there if they wanted to be together. It was great, it was fine, it was perfect. 

But…

But it wasn’t. Cecil smiled and made all the right sounds and said all the right, supportive, non-jealous things, but…

But he’d be working on a woodcarving, and he’d get bored, and he’d go looking for his lovers and find them spooning on the couch and his stomach would ache.

But he’d wake up in the morning, all alone in bed, and hear the sounds of grunting and moaning coming from the shower, and Cecil would find himself with his hand down his pants and his face in the pillow, soaking up his shamed tears. 

But they’d be having dinner, and Cecil would realize that he hadn’t said a word the whole meal, and he would realize that they didn’t realize it, they were too caught up talking about how baking was a science, and he’d grit his teeth and pour himself another drink. 

But sometimes they would notice that he was having another drink, or going outside to smoke, or having another cup of coffee, and they’d chide him for it. Tsk-tsking like he was a wayward child. And he’d see them standing there, smug and clean-living and so comfortable, and he’d want to shake them both. But he didn’t, he'd tell them they were right, sure, yeah, he had some bad habits. And then they’d drop it and go back to their conversation, and never ask him _why_?

He wanted them to ask him why. 

There was no more tension in the air, just puppy love and sadness, and they were too caught up in the former to notice the latter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can pinpoint the moment his heart breaks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where things get pretty heavy and messy, and will until almost the end. Fair warning!

Every day life went on as well as it could. The three of them went to work, did the grocery shopping, mowed the lawn, did the laundry. Anyone on the outside would think that they were a blissfully happy triad, and if you asked Carlos or Earl, they would have said the same. 

So would Cecil, but if you looked closely, you would see that he changed the subject quickly, rubbing his eyes as he spoke and blaming their watering on hay fever. 

Cecil wasn’t allergic to anything, never had been, but who could be expected to remember that when there was so much to do in their busy little lives?

And besides, Cecil was a good actor, for as long as he could sustain it. He snuggled into Carlos’ and Earl’s arms, he made appropriately enthusiastic noises in bed, he laughed at their jokes, never letting on that a keening wail of anxiety was echoing in his head the entire time. What were the two of them going to do later? Did they still love him as much as they loved each other? Did they still love him at all?

He found himself becoming erratic, despite his best efforts, swinging from pole to pole. One day he was aloof, shutting himself in his attic office and politely demurring any attempts to lure him out with promises of food or sex or Scrabble games. The next, he was like a starved puppy, hovering anxiously around them, eager to lap up any crumbs of love they might drop on the floor. He was sure it was confusing, sure it was distancing them from him more, but he had no energy to fight his moods and whims of the moment. So he drifted, an angry ghost pushed on the winds of his own despair. 

That didn’t mean there weren’t moments of happiness, though, there always are, and those moments kept him together. Times when he’d tell a story from his day, and they’d both laugh and their smiling faces would turn toward him, and he’d feel like he’d been seen for the first time in days. Or when he’d be sitting alone, pretending to be working on his show, and Earl would bring him a cup of tea or Carlos would rub his shoulders. He glowed in those moments, and later hated himself for treasuring such fleeting things. But hope was as much a part of Cecil’s make up as fear and sadness, and those feelings could sometimes persist even with the pit in his heart trying to drag them down. 

***

Cecil was feeling one of those far-flung moments of optimism when he got home from work one chilly January day. He came inside and took off his jacket and called out to the house, but got no answer, even though Earl’s and Carlos’ cars were both parked in the driveway. He went upstairs and as he passed by the bathroom, he heard the sounds of splashing and laughter from the two men inside. Had he not been feeling rather spry, he might have gone back downstairs and lost himself in a western on the television until the others joined him. But he was feeling spry, and a devilish grin crossed his face. He padded past the closed door so as not to be heard, then stripped down to his undershirt and boxer shorts and crept back down the hall, ready to surprise his lovers. He stopped outside the door. 

“Mmmmm, this is nice,” he heard Earl sigh. 

“Yes, but we should keep track of time, we want to be finished before Cecil gets home,” Carlos answered, voice similarly soft and blissful.

“Yeah, there’s no room for him,” Earl snickered. 

“And you know he’d try to make room,” Carlos groaned. He was quiet for a minute. “Do you think he’s… okay? He’s been acting kind of strange.”

“Ehhhh,” Earl made a noncommittal noise. “You know how he is. He gets stuck in his head. He’ll tell us about it sooner or later, I guess. But let’s not talk about him right now, I’ll just get aggravated. This is our time.”

“You’re right, you’re right, this is our time,” Carlos purred. “Sorry, Birdy-Boo. How can I ever make it up to you?”

“I have a few ideas,” Earl murmured. Then he gasped, sharply. “Ohhh, I love you, Carlito.”

“I love you, too, Early Bird.” Then the talking stopped, and there were only the sounds of passion and sloshing bathwater. 

Cecil stood in the hallway, heart pounding, eyes streaming, body numb. He felt a wild panic grip him. He had to get out of there, had to get away from those sounds, those words. He ran downstairs and into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of bourbon from the cupboard. He shoved his feet into his shoes and left through the back door. The sun was setting and the temperature was dropping rapidly, he was still in his underwear and t-shirt, but he didn’t care. He just needed to get away, somewhere private and safe where he could be alone. 

He walked through the darkening streets to Mission Grove Park. Some passersby saw him, but it wasn’t unusual to see someone wandering around in the throes of an existential crisis, and it was impolite to interrupt something so personal. Cecil spoke to no one, made his way into the park, and settled down against a dead tree.

“There’s no room for me,” he announced to the Void, and, uncapping his bottle, began to drink to forget.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frozen heart, frozen toes...

Back at the house, Carlos and Earl stepped out of the tub and started to towel off. Earl was pensive as he dried his hair. “Soooo, what you were saying, about Cecil?” he started.

“Yes?” Carlos propped his foot up on the toilet seat and dried between his toes. 

“I probably shouldn’t have been so flip about it, but I was distracted at the time. You guys have a way of doing that to me, you know,” he grinned. 

“I know what you mean,” Carlos said, winking. “But you noticed, too? Something’s really off with him.”

“Yeah.” Earl bit his lip, worried. “He’s been drinking a lot, smoking more. He seems really stressed. Is it work? Has he said anything to you?”

“No, he hasn’t, but he hasn’t been talking to me much, lately,” Carlos said with a frustrated shrug. “He’s been shutting himself off.”

“Yeah, he does that when he’s upset, or when he’s struggling with something. Always has.” He paused. “Do you think we’ve been neglecting him?”

Carlos frowned. “Yes. No. I don’t know. I don’t mean to, I miss him. But when I try to reach out to him, he gets skittish. I don’t want to crowd him.”

“Yeah, me neither. But maybe we should try harder. Hey, tonight, when he gets home? Let’s just smother him with love until he tells us to fuck off.”

“Agreed,” Carlos said, handing Earl a toothbrush. “And if he doesn’t tell us to fuck off? We’ll smother him some more. Figuratively.”

“Of course,” Earl agreed, squeezing toothpaste on the brush. “You know, it would be nice if we had a bigger bathtub, that way all three of us could fit.”

***  
Down at the park, Cecil shivered and sobbed as a fine, cold rain began to fall. Earl and Carlos loved each other. He knew that, he supposed, but he couldn’t remember having heard them actually say it before. For that matter, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard one of them say it to him, either. Of course, his memory was getting a little foggy, what with the booze. 

He wiggled his toes, just to prove to himself that they were still there. Apparently, leather dress oxfords were no better winter weather gear than were the thin undershirt and boxers he was wearing. “How unscientific of me, how unscoutsmanly!” he said out loud, accompanied by a hiccuping laugh.

It only made sense, of course. They were right, he didn’t fit. Earl and Carlos were both so steady, so careful in their thoughts and actions. He was the wild card, he was the one with big appetites and savage urges and deep, dramatic mood swings. It was no wonder that they didn’t want him around any more. It was no wonder there was no room for him. They’d have a good life together, stable and calm. Well, he’d make it easy on them, they wouldn’t have to put up with him. If he made it through the night, he’d just… leave. He’d find another place, and he’d be all alone, again. Just like it seemed he was born to be. 

***

Earl left the bathroom, a cloud of steam in his wake, as Carlos stayed behind to try to make sense of his hair. He glanced at the clock. Time was meaningless, but… He looked out the window and saw that the sun had already set. “Ah, Beams! It’s late!” he groused out loud. He listened for the sounds of life in the house, but it was silent. Cecil must be working late. Time to start dinner, he supposed. 

He walked down the stairs, and as he did, his eyes caught sight of a brown Volvo in the driveway. Cecil’s car. 

“Hey, Cee! Are you home?” he called out. Nothing. Then his hair stood on end as a cobweb voice came from behind his shoulder. 

“Cecil was here, but he left rather quickly. You’d think he’d have more modesty than to go out in his underwear, but he was in such a state. I should cut up his clothes to teach him a lesson… If he needs them any more.” 

Earl spun around, but no one was there. The Faceless Old Woman never was. He took a moment to process what she had said, then shouted, his eyes wide. “Carlos! Carlos! I think we have a problem!”

***

Cecil yawned and stretched out. He didn’t feel the same sense of panic that he had, which was nice. He still felt cold, but the cold wasn’t bothering him any more. He kicked off his shoes and looked at his toes, which were an intriguing shade of dusky purple. He also saw more of them than usual, which meant that the bourbon was doing what it was meant to do. He supposed he should go find someplace to warm up, but his legs didn’t want to move, and he found that he just didn’t care. He lay his head back and dropped the mostly-empty bottle, closing his eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To the rescue!

Cecil felt himself being lifted by strong arms, like a child again. What a beautiful dream… Of course, in his happy dreams there was rarely so much cursing and shouting.

“Voidsdamnit, Cecil, what is wrong with you?” he heard Earl’s voice growl. Weird. Earl didn’t curse often. 

“Zzzo mussshh,” Cecil mumbled. 

“What’s he trying to say? What’s he saying?” Carlos now, with that sharp, bossy edge he only got to his voice when he was truly afraid.    
“I don’t know, we have to get him out of here, get him someplace warm.” Cecil was carried aloft. 

“Hypothermia?”

“Yeah, probably, that and dead drunk. Open the door to the backseat.” A ca-thunk of a car door opening.

“We’re taking him to the hospital, now.”

“Are you crazy? Teddy is closed for the night, and if we want him to live, we’re not taking him to General! We need to take him home!”

“Your stupid town is stupid!” Carlos spat. 

“Oh, yeah? Sorry about that, Mr. Smart Guy Who Is Too Smart To Find His Boyfriend!”

“It was my idea to call the angels for help!”

“Erikas!”

_Guys, don’t fight, you’re in love_ , Cecil thought, but couldn’t make his mouth form the words. Instead, he just said “guuuuhhhhhhh.” Close enough.

“Cecil has blankets in the trunk, I think,” Earl barked. “Get ‘em out and wrap him up.”

“Already have them, you’re not the only one who knows first aid, Scoutface!”

“Fine, wrap him up. No, get him out of those wet clothes first. No, wrap him up and then undress him.”

“Yes, sir, Commandant!” Carlos shouted, quickly stripping Cecil down. Cecil tried to tell him he wasn’t in the mood to fool around, but flopped his head instead. “Oh, look at his poor toes,” Carlos cried.

“Frostbite.”

“Well, no shit.” Cecil did not feel the light pressure of another blanket being wrapped around his feet. 

“Sit in the back seat with him, willya? I’ll drive.” 

Cecil moved his jaws for a moment, until they felt limber enough to talk. “S’no room for me…” he slurred. It must have been somewhat-recognizable, because Earl spoke again. “Don’t crowd him too much!”

“He needs the body heat! And it’s fine, this car’s a boat!”

Cecil was about to answer that no, in fact, it was a car, but he fell asleep instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason I headcanon that Earl and Carlos are the kind of guys who get bossy when they're really scared, and so they were butting heads.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is there anything better than waking up in your own bed? Yes.

Cecil woke a few hours later, in a soft bed, two warm bodies pressed against him. Everything hurt. He groaned. 

“Well, look who’s awake,” Carlos said softly, on one side of him. 

Earl, on the other side of him, growled. “Well, **good**! I hope he has a **splitting headache**!” 

Cecil’s eyes flitted open. “I do. And my toes are burning.”

“You’re lucky to still have them!” Earl said, glaring. 

“Take it easy on him, Earl…” Carlos warned. 

“I just, aaarrgh!” Earl punched his pillow. “To think of how close we came to losing you, how STUPID and INCONSIDERATE to run off like that, what the hell were you thinking?” His voice cracked, and Cecil realized that Earl was crying. 

“I’m sorry, I just…” Cecil began to sob uncontrollably, too exhausted to explain. He felt Carlos’ arms wrap around him in a tight embrace, then Earl’s. The two men kissed away his tears until he fell back into a dreamless slumber.

When he woke again, it was morning. Earl and Carlos were still there, watching him. He could see from the dark circles around their eyes that they’d been awake all night. 

“Hey,” Earl said, an apologetic smile on his face. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, I was keyed-up and you had me terrified.”

Cecil nodded and swallowed, his throat dry and his mouth cottony. 

Carlos gave him a deep, fierce hug. “God, we’re so glad you’re alive,” he murmured. 

“You are?” Cecil croaked. 

Carlos and Earl shared a look. Earl cleared his throat. “I’m going to go get you something warm to drink, and then we should talk, okay?”

Is there a more frightening phrase in the English language than “we should talk?” Cecil nodded again and sank into the pillows, wishing he was still freezing to death out in the park. This was probably it. This is probably where they were going to tell him there was no place for him, that he needed to get out and leave them to their happiness.

Carlos kept his arms around Cecil, humming wordlessly and soothingly, stroking his hair. “Sweet Cecil, my Pooh, my Snugglebear,” he murmured. Cecil wished he would stop, this was only making it worse when they were moments away from breaking his heart, but it felt so nice… 

A few moments later, Earl came in with a mug of what appeared to be tea and held it to Cecil’s lips. “Drink.”

Cecil sipped at it and winced. “Too sweet,” he managed.

Earl snickered. “Always a critic. You need the sugar, Cee. Black coffee won’t do at the moment.” 

The three sat in uncomfortable silence as Earl made sure that Cecil drank the entire cup of tea, sickeningly sugary as it was. When he was done, to Cecil’s surprise, he climbed back into bed and took Cecil into his arms, just as Carlos had done. “So, then, let’s talk.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long talk, and a resolution.

“What’s there to talk about?” Cecil asked, sadly.

“Well, there’s that stunt you pulled, for one,” Earl said, a touch of anger back in his voice.

“And there’s what’s been going on with you, Cee,” Carlos said, stroking his hair. “You haven’t been yourself. What’s up?”

Cecil squeezed his eyelids shut with annoyance. “I’m not oblivious, you guys. I’ve seen all I need to see, and if I wasn’t convinced, I heard you yesterday.”

The men on either side of him tensed. “Heard what? Seen what?” Carlos asked. 

“I’ve seen how you are together, how happy you are, how in love you are.” The last bit made for a bitter taste in his mouth. “And I heard you talking when you were in the bathroom. You were talking about how aggravating I am,” he jabbed a weak finger into Earl’s chest. “You said you loved each other, and it was your time, and that there was no room for me!”

“Beams, Cecil.” Earl rolled his eyes. “I meant in the tub! There was no room for all three of us in there, but we knew that if you saw us, you’d try to crawl in! And with your arthritis, you’d end up all twisted up like a pretzel, and you’d be immobile for days! Like you will be when you try to get out of this bed, sitting on the cold ground like a fool…”

“Oh…” Cecil blinked. “Oh, okay, Earl, nice answer, but I’m aggravating, now, am I?”

“YES!” Earl said, exasperated. “You are! You always have been! That doesn’t make me love you less, though!”

“Ha, and you love me? As much as you love Carlos? Does he love me? Do either of you even love me at all?”

There it was. The question rang out and hung in the air for a moment. Then Carlos spoke.

“Cecil,” he started softly, “do you remember, back before all of this started, that I told you I could not imagine a scenario where I didn’t love you, where we weren’t together?”   
“Yes,” Cecil said, bracing for the death blow. 

“Well, those calculations haven’t changed. My love for you hasn’t changed. I still love you, so much…”

“And I’ve been in love with you since we were kids,” Earl interrupted. “I came back from the Void for you. Do you think anything you could say or do would change my feelings now?”

Cecil shook his head slowly, unconvinced. “Then why have you been ignoring me, both of you? I’m falling apart, and you don’t care!”

“How are we supposed to know that?” Earl said, voice rising again. “How are we supposed to know that you’re hurting if you don’t TELL US? We don’t all have a fancy third eye and telepathy, you know!”

“Limited Clairvoyance,” Cecil corrected, hotly. “And you don’t need three eyes to see when someone’s in pain! When someone’s left out! For weeks now, months, you’ve been all wrapped up in each other, cuddling and going for walks, and laughing at your little jokes, and all the while I’ve been so alone!” Burning, angry tears were streaming down his face. 

Both other men were silent for a moment, Carlos murmured a soft “oh.” He and Earl glanced at each other, blushing. 

“I guess we have our answer, huh?” Earl asked. 

“Yes, we do.” Carlos sighed, reaching over Cecil for Earl’s hand. “Yes, Cecil, what you heard was right. Earl and I do love each other. And we love you, so very very much. And we were talking — it must have been after you left — we were wondering if we had been neglecting you, and it seems like we have.”

“Gods, we’re sorry, Cee,” Earl breathed. 

“If you’re so sorry, why’d you do it?” Cecil asked through his tears. 

“I think,” Carlos paused, “I think we got carried away. Earl and I have a few things in common…” He took a moment to squeeze Cecil as he sobbed louder. “And one of those things is that we both like to discover…”

“To explore…” Earl added.

“Yes, to discover and explore, and here was a whole new person to discover and explore, and —“

“And I’m yesterday’s weather report,” Cecil chimed in, bitterly. “Boring, commonplace.”

Earl chuckled. “I don’t think you could ever be boring and commonplace, Cee.”

Carlos nodded. “I agree with Earl, you’re pretty much endlessly surprising, actually. But I think that we both… took you for granted. As ours. As a given. We lost sight of how much there still is to learn and explore and discover about you…”

Earl shifted uncomfortably. “And I didn’t think about how you’d feel… I’m sorry. I know… I know it’s hard for you, to feel like you don’t belong. Like you’re getting left behind. And I kinda let myself forget about that. I’m sorry… You’re not aggravating, I **get** aggravated when I can’t help you and you won’t let me help. And for saying that it was ‘our time,’ me and Carlos, I just… We all need our time alone with each other, I think… I mean, I don’t want to talk to you about Carlos’ chewing problem when we’re alone…”

“Hey, now,” Carlos protested.

“It is what it is,” Earl said with a shrug. “Cecil aggravates me, and you chew like a camel.”

“Sorry, Mr. Cargo-Shorts-Are-Formal-Wear…”

Cecil stared at them as they bantered, hardly daring to hope. “And you both love me?” he asked in a small voice.

“Yes, Cecil,” Carlos said, “I, Carlos the Scientist…”

Earl picked up on what he was doing and smiled. “And I, Earl Harlan,”

“Love Cecil Gershwin Palmer very, very much.” They finished, just slightly out of unison. Cecil once again dissolved into tears, this time happy ones.

“And I love you, too,” he said, thickly. “Both of you… I accept your apology.” He was still teary, but he had a small, satisfied smile on his lips.

“Now hold on a minute, here,” Earl said. “We’re both sorry, but you’re not off the hook just yet.”

“Excuse me?” The smile dropped.

“Yeah, Pooh,” Carlos said, quietly. “You need to be more open with us, and to trust us more if this is going to work. We can’t have you running off and putting yourself in peril every time you feel like things are wrong. You need to talk it out with us.”

“That’s — that’s pretty hard for me,” Cecil said.

“We know,” Carlos replied, putting his head on Cecil’s chest. “But you have to try. And you have to stop trying to lose yourself in a bottle when you don’t want to talk.”

“But that’s —“ Cecil and Earl started together. 

“Nope.” Carlos shook his head. “I know it’s the Night Vale way, but that doesn’t make it right. We all have to make adjustments, and that’s — that’s okay. Sometimes when you’re doing an experiment, you need to change your parameters a little, when the variables change.”

“And every recipe could use some tweaking,” Earl added with a laugh. “You know, Cee, you’re not the only one who felt left out. When I moved in here, I never thought I’d feel at home. I mean, this is your house…”

“Was our house,” Carlos corrected, “now it’s yours, too.”

“I know,” Earl continued. “But it took a while before I realized that.”

“And I felt out of the loop too,” Carlos said. Both Earl and Cecil looked at him with surprise. “What? Of course I did. You two have known each other forever. You have little in-jokes, and you have memories of each other that I’ll never be a part of. There were times when I didn’t think I’d ever fit in.”

“But you guys adjusted,” Cecil said, sadly. “I fell apart.”

“Well,” Earl said sheepishly, “we didn’t make it easy on you. We adjusted because you always made sure we both felt cared-for. We kind of dropped the ball on that. But never again. And if we do, you let us know, okay?”   
“Okay, I’ll try, and I’m sorry,” Cecil said, closing his eyes. “I feel awful. I think I’m just going to sleep for a week…”

“Unfortunately,” Carlos said, carefully, “that’s not an option right now?”

“It’s not?” Cecil said, forcing his eyelids open. 

“No, Cee,” Earl kissed his shoulder. “You were pretty badly off last night, and you need to get checked out by someone with a little more medical know-how than the two of us knuckleheads. We’re taking you in to see Teddy as soon as he opens.”

Cecil groaned. “I — I don’t think I can walk.”

Carlos smiled and kissed Cecil sweetly on the lips. “Don’t worry, between the two of us, we’re strong enough to carry you.”

***  
Every day life went on as well as it could. Cecil recovered from his injuries, and he learned to talk more. Earl and Carlos were delighted to rediscover that Cecil was just as fascinating as the day they’d each met him. The three of them went to work, did the grocery shopping, mowed the lawn, did the laundry. They had early morning chats and long, twilit walks, sometimes as couples, sometimes all three together. None of them were above a quickie while they were waiting for their third partner to come home. 

Anyone on the outside would think that they were a blissfully happy triad, and if you asked Carlos or Earl, they would have said the same. 

So would Cecil, and this time, he would be telling the truth.


End file.
